Flip The Narrative, Not The Bird (The Friday Ficks S5 E8)
“Do you know how fast you were going before you hit the brakes?” he asked.
“Not really,” I sheepishly answered.
“76 mph. And I’ll give you one guess who you flipped off back there,” the trooper added for good measure.
A summer Friday night, blasting to the Jersey shore to hang with my college roommate.
Damn the torpedoes. I. ABSOLUTELY. HAD. TO. GET. THERE.
While cruising down the Garden State Parkway, some guy cut me off. Or so I thought.
The immediate reaction of the 24 year-old (hint = me) driving? Speed up and flip off the driver.
Bad move, for many reasons. The recipient of my petulant behavior was an off-duty state trooper. And a friend of the one who pulled me over.
A textbook case of a stunning lack of emotional intelligence (EQ) and the glaring absence of one of its foundational elements, self-awareness.
Throughout my many years of education, I had been relentlessly and mercilessly tested, graded and assessed on information learned and skills mastered. Heck, I even passed the bar exam.
But at that very moment, I could not touch and give a voice to those pesky things called emotions. I could not react in a responsible manner which, upon reflection, was to not react at all.
Action = cut off. Reaction = flip off.
In the last four weeks, many people have been quick to anger, flipping off those who disagree with them with either their words or their hands.
Frustration is understandable, but reacting angrily is not the best way to move forward.
The good news? Unlike your IQ, which is static, your EQ is not. You can strengthen it, enhance it, sharpen it.
I learned from my deeply uncharacteristic, embarrassing and humbling highway screw-up, making a conscious choice to flip the narrative and not the bird.
You can too.
Own the day. Own the weekend.
Carl
Ps. EQ is the single biggest predictor of success, in business and in life. Through my trainings and workshops, I help leaders and their teams grow EQ. If you want help flipping the narrative (and not the bird), DM me.